Confession

When I lived with Karina, we would sometimes walk into each others' room and say 'confession' .....and then spill the beans on something we did, said, thought, etc. that we wouldn't share with just anybody but we had to tell somebody. 

I'm almost too embarrassed to post this...but in an effort to include the good, the bad, the beautiful, and the ugly, here it goes...

When asked once upon a time what Rick's favorite things about me were he answered "how loving and kind she is".

But sometimes I am not kind. 

It typically happens a few days before I start my period. 

I'm not saying it's all to blame on the hormones but I also don't think it's coincidence that it's around the same time of the month that I occasionally get a fit of fiesty-ness that makes me want to cry about anything. 

It's not cute. 

I get annoyed at one thing and it snowballs into everything and my poor Rick gets the brunt of it. 

He typically laughs or makes what would on a normal day be a funny comment..or he makes a comment that I would on any day take offense to - I'm sensitive. 

and then I'm mad. 

and then he says something I don't want to hear. 

and then I'm crying. 

and he's just confused as to why I'm crying. 

and then sorries are exchanged 

but I still feel embarrassed/guilty for acting like such a snob. 

And then a few days later when my period starts and I can literally feel the crazy escaping me - I remember I can repent and be better. I realize that it's those moments that allow me to grow and it's the comments my husband makes that my pride takes offense to that are actually the things I need to take to heart so that I can grow to be a better person. 

I realize that when I'm getting aggravated because the waiter is terrible and i'm hungry and he hasn't brought me ketchup and Rick is eating all the fries - yes, seriously ridiculous. I promise this is not typical behavior. and Rick tells me I'm being ridiculous, he isn't lacking compassion, he's telling me the truth and telling me I'm better than the way I'm acting.  

I love my husband so much. More than I know how to express. 

Sometimes I may not appreciate him calling out my faults at that moment - but if he didn't ever do that, he'd just be tolerating them. And then I wouldn't know in what ways I can improve myself or love him better. 

"Kindness is the essence of a celestial life" 

- and there is no other life I want to work towards while holding my sweet, sweet husband's hand as we journey on.

p.s. Rick grew up with no sisters so sometimes I'm sure he thinks I'm crazy. 

(luckily he still tells me he loves me too)

Please tell me I'm not. 

Does your period sometimes make you cranky/emotional too?!