What We Didn't Know About Buying a House

- The banks are super nosey during the pre-approval process - expect to have to give them lots of old bank statements and to be able to defend and show proof of where withdraws or deposits went/came from
- Give yourself plenty of time if you're buying in a new city!!! (the earliest we could close was 60 days from date of loan approval)
- Unless you HAVE to...don't have your closing date over a month before you can even move. We were told it would better our chances of have the offer accepted, which could be true because the seller is paying everything until it's sold, but it sucked having to take over all the bills and not be able to live in our new home because we were still living and paying rent somewhere else.
- We used to think that in the negotiating phase if we said "throw in a fridge" it meant they just included a fridge... not so. If you say add a fridge, expect the price of the house to increase $1500 or so -- do the same for anything you want "thrown in" (like sprinklers) and then you have a new price you're negotiating to lower.
- Even if the seller "pays closing costs" ..that doesn't mean you won't pay any as well...and they are not cheap
- Property taxes can be OUTRAGEOUS
- House insurance in just confusing and annoying
- DO NOT close on a house while you're on vacation -- or if you're out of town for any reason
- You need a notary...and unless you know one (we didn't in California)...it's about $10-$15 per signature...and there are about 50
- You know what you're signing....but you don't know what you're signing...don't be shy to ask questions as you speed through and sign all 1000 pages

I'll update this as things come to mind!

Moments

There are moments in life where all you can do is be grateful and hold on to your faith, that there is a plan greater than you know, and enjoy the ride.

"Even if you exercise your strongest faith, God will not always reward you immediately according to your desires. Rather, God will respond with what in His eternal plan is best for you. He loves you to a depth and completeness you cannot conceive of in your mortal state. Indeed, were you to know His entire plan, you would never ask for that which is contrary to it even though your feelings tempt you to do so. Sincere faith gives understanding and strength to accept the will of our Heavenly Father when it differs from our own. We can accept His will with peace and assurance, confident that His infinite wisdom surpasses our own ability to comprehend fully His plan as it unfolds a piece at a time...No matter what occurs, no matter how topsy-turvy the world becomes, you can always have the sustaining power of faith. That will never change. The perfect love of your Father in Heaven will never change." -Richard G. Scott

Our Valentine's Day Crush

This needed its very own post...so I'll jump right into it.
We went to the gym in the dark morning hours and when we got home and I was about to get ready for work when Rick said I could have my prize...so he goes to a hiding spot (i followed him in hopes that i'd know one of his secret hiding spots) ... he pulled out a card and told me to read it out loud...so I read my lovey dovey riddle filled card and realized he had called me off of work for the day and I needed to pack my bags stat so we could make it to our dinner reservation and then Disney the following day. WHAAAATTTT?! at this point I was excited. & tearing up. (he got me a massage too! -- and he made sure my sunday school class was covered because we wouldn't be in town -- where did he come from?!).

Bags packed. leaving home right on schedule. jamming to Avicii's Wake Me Up. waiting at the left turn signal red light to get onto the interstate...and then as if in slow motion and super speed at the same time...crash bang crunch screech etc..."why whyyyy whyyyyy" "well, shoot"...Rick's door was jammed so we both climbed out the passenger side and we were super blessed that a state trooper happened to be driving by a minute after the accident so we didn't have to call and wait for a cop to show up.

somebody had run their red light from the interstate off ramp, barreled through the intersection, swerved, took out the sign in the median (not sure how it ended up under our car), then hit our car, and ended up back on the other side of the road.  They thought their brakes had gone out but the officer tested them and believes it was a mistake between gas and brake. They were very apologetic and I think we were all scared to death. 

Although it was absolutely terrible timing (but then again, when does an accident have good timing?!), we've really tried looking on the bright side of this.  Blessings: nobody was hurt, the person at fault has insurance (!!!), the person knew/accepted their fault so it was a calm after accident scene, a few people stopped to make sure everything was ok, the officer's timing and niceness, pretty sure the sign slowed the other vehicle somewhat before hitting us, the fact that they hit where they did...and not closer to the driver door or anywhere that Rick could have been hit, that the sign didn't fall onto our car/windshield .........if there is any "best" kind of accident to be in, we got pretty lucky.

2.5 weeks without a car makes me very grateful for mine. 

Advice if you find yourself in a car accident (as a third party claimant - aka not your fault): 

• We had no idea what to do so we called our insurance - we were given two options: go through them and pay the $500 deductible for repairs or go through the other person's insurance. Since we had zero fault and didn't think we should pay a dime, we opted for option 2. 
• Be really careful of how you word things while talking to their insurance - they will seriously try to find any fault to put on you. They asked things like, did you both have your seat belts on?, so you were stopped because the light was red?, how was the weather?", etc...anything that could have contributed.. 
• If you don't NEED a rental car you can ask them to pay you out and they might offer x amount of dollars per day in place of a rental. Rick was on night shifts so we were able to share one vehicle. 
• Know where you would want repairs done. We chose the nissan dealership because we didn't want it to mess up our warranty if it went somewhere else.
• Have a tow company in mind before an accident happens. We had no clue so we just had the officer call whatever company was on his list. Well, it would have cost us $100 cash on the spot to have him take it anywhere but the tow company's body shop...so it had to sit there until we got back from out trip because another thing we didn't know is we had to sign over the rights to the vehicle to the insurance company. SO ask if you can do that when they pick up your vehicle....or pick a tow company that's located near your house....because it was inconvenient to have to drive across town to sign a piece of paper. 
• My car was pretty new...a 2013 and in perfect condition prior to the accident. Now that it has been in an accident it has lost value...because who wants to buy a car after they find out it's been in an accident?! Some places automatically deduct 33% if the car has been in an accident...there is this thing called Diminution in Value (DIV) and the insurance company will not mention/offer it, and they will give you the run around, but it might be worth going after. (I'll update this on how that turns out at a later date)

p.s. we still ended up at Disney and still had an excellent weekend

Waiting...

"keep an open mind and realize that however much we see, there is always more to the picture."

I had an epiphany of sorts while thinking of the way I've focused the content of our blog. & how monthly updates aren't the best way for me to give you a glimpse into the whole picture...because things for us don't really happen on a month to month basis...they can span months at a time. I don't know if this means updating more or less frequently but I know it means including more of the stresses experiences and decisions that are unique to being married to a medical student/soon to be doctor.  

For example, for the last 2 months (and until March 21st) we've been waiting. Waiting for "Match Day". The day we find out out where Rick matched for residency. It's a difficult, anxiety filled, exciting period for two people who don't like waiting. We have no idea where or what to plan for because we have no idea where we will be. As we approach Rick starting residency it seems there are constant reminders about how residency will suck...we are aware - and are grateful to be aware so we can set an expectation of not easy life for the next 5 years - BUT sometimes we wish people wouldn't remind us...and just let us be thrown into the fire pit of residency and experience it and survive it. 

Basically, I'm getting impatient and increasingly nervous as match day approaches...but I know Rick has worked crazy hard throughout school and that we will end up where we are supposed to.

Words of advice for the match/waiting period: 

-pray about it...and then just let it be

-think about what will make you happy and rank based on that (i.e. proximity to family, cool location, the residents you'll be working with/ that you meet at interviews) all of those can be important but pick the one that makes you most happy and would be worth sacrificing for

-remember that wherever the future doc felt most comfortable is important

-know that wherever you end up, there will be something great there

When life gives you lemons...

…you've got to use them. 

So if life ever gives you a multitude of lemons like it did us, here are a few things you can do: 

• Get a pitcher from the dollar store, fill it with lemons, print and attach a sign that says "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade"...use as small gift (i.e. white elephant, visiting teaching, etc.)
• squeeze and strain all juice and freeze it in ice cube trays for later use
• make lemon sorbet
• find recipes that use lemons and/or lemon juice (citrus pork recipes are great, as are blueberry scones with lemon glaze) 
• make lemonade

Take 2, Away Rotations -- A [long] double whammy

I accidentally posted this early while I was starting to write it a couple of weeks ago. (hit publish instead of save!)

 NOW it's had more added and it's official....

July was not forgotten...

I just waited until August to combine the two in order to avoid posting on this public blog 

that my heart has been away for the past 

t.w.o. m.o.n.t.h.s. (68 days to be exact)

Yep, it was awful.  

R was away doing externships for school while I was here bringing home the bacon. 

I don't think we realized how difficult it would be to be away from each other until it happened. 

It might not seem like a big deal but it was a humbling experience that I know has made me even more grateful to have him.

Two weeks into it was the Sims annual beach time in PCB.

I wished so badly that R would be there but in my mind there was no way.

He was so sad he wouldn't be there because he looks forward to it every year.

& as far as I knew, he had to be at the hospital that weekend

..and when I called him on my drive to PCB,

he had "just gotten home and was about to cook the chicken he thawed."

I arrived at PCB and when I got upstairs P said 'well, since we don't know where everybody's sleeping just put your stuff in that room' ....I walk in there to put down my stuff down and from the darkness I hear "heeyyyyyyyeyyeyey!!!!!" coming from my HUSBAND!

I was in shock. & cried.

I was so happy that trickster R surprised the heck out of me.

He said he couldn't hold in his excitement when I walked in there.

A couple of weeks later I got to surprise R! Haha!

The evening before, I was at publix while on the phone with R.

 I said I had to pick up ice-cream for my (made up) dinner plans with a family in the ward.

I went all out - even 20 minutes before I arrived to surprise him I texted him saying I had a headache and that I was right about my guess that we'd be having lasagna.

R threw a wrench in my plan when at 10pm the night before he mentioned his dinner plans at his cousin J's house. I got up with cousin J's wife, R and she helped a cousin out big time.

The new plan was for me to show up there (which would be even more surprising!)

and she made sure J was outside and she was busy when I knocked on the door so she could ask R to get the door.

He was in shock. We had a spontaneous little getaway the next day; it was perfect.

Two and a half weeks later we saw each other again.

R's Granny G passed away, peacefully.

It was sad but it's a comfort to know where she is.

The hardest things were seeing my MIL cry knowing that breaks R's heart.

& when MIL whispered in my ear "she loved you so much and was so happy R got you"

I realized how much death brings family/friends together and gives people an opportunity to serve others.

There were so many people who brought food or helped with the lunch after the funeral, etc. It was so nice.

We ended up seeing each other a lot more than we thought we would

(we thought we'd see each other zero)

but it's just not the same as being HOME together. 

The hardest thing about seeing each other was knowing we had to say goodbye AGAIN.

Talking on the phone with about a week left, R said, "I cannot wait for Friday. It's going to be like heaven." It was the best feeling to see him and know we didn't have to say goodbye again.

The day R finished his rotation, I rode down to Ma & Dad's house with Gma&Gpa H.

then rode back home with R after we spent a few days with the family :)

The weekend was amazing

(although we could have done without the ticket for turning right on red! nothing some farm fresh boiled peanuts couldn't cure.) 

Other July/August events worth noting: KA came to visit me!!! Gma & Gpa H's 60th wedding anniversary!!!, the Jones' came through town to share their art project at a local art gallery (www.sunrisegoal.org), and R's Gold Humanism Honor Society pinning ceremony.

Thoughts while being alone: 

• I am so grateful it wasn't longer. Military spouses are strong!!!
• Even though we haven't even been married a year yet, it's easy to get into a routine. I was reminded of what a blessing it is to come home to him every day and to get to serve each other throughout the week. 
• It is really easy to come home and eat cereal for dinner when there is no one else to cook for. This is likely what made me feel sick sometimes. 
• You can really psych yourself out when you're home alone. When you're in the shower and can't remember if you locked the door and then start thinking you might be hearing something in your living room. Yep. 
• I need to be more social.
• Cell phone service in our apartment it TERRIBLE. This made our phone calls very difficult sometimes. 
• I am sooo sooo glad I never endured a relationship heartbreak. You know, where you are completely in love with the person and then you break up.....because for at least the first week of R being gone, I cried every night just because I wished he was there...but I knew he was coming back..so it wasn't a permanent change...I imagine a heart break would feel terrible. 
• I get a whole lot of cleaning/organizing accomplished when I'm home alone.
• What huge sacrifices R is making for us and our future. Being away from home and working LONG hours. It's the worst to get "home" and not even have time to unwind before having to shower and get in bed to do it all over again. 
• I appreciate him so much. 
• We should never be apart that long again. ever. 

Thoughts on away rotations for medical student spouse: 

• they open doors to potential residency programs
• it gives a tiny little taste of what to expect during residency since they get to work directly with them
• it helps with getting letters of recommendation which they will need when applying to residency!!! [p.s. save money because all the applications through ERAS can get pricey]
• think about away rotations and moving costs when you decide how much loan money to accept for the semester!
• they will not get much sleep...and they miss you too...so don't be hard on them when the only time you talk some days is on their drive home. 
• they will be back. Don't forget the away rotations are temporary. 

Before R left, he got a blessing from our home teacher.

It was undoubtedly inspired and exactly what each of us needed to hear. It gave us strength and reassurance. I know it strengthened my testimony and helped me feel our Savior's love.

 A sweet promise that 'angels would take care of his angel while he was away' came in the form of occasions to see family, friends visiting, and friends needing a place to stay while coming through town.

I have never has so many plans packed into two months as these two and what a blessing that was from Heavenly Father.

I am so grateful for the priesthood and the worthy men who exercise it to bless others.

Life lesson of July/August: our eternal marriage brings and will continue to bring so many "supernal joys of life." 

Things we're looking forward to in September: being together! not traveling (our gas expenses have been out of control). R finally gets to enjoy the professional massage he got for his bday!

3&4/30: Describe your relationship with your parents. & List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.

Describe your relationship with your parents

They are simply the best. I love them. EVERYBODY loves them.

Growing up, people wanted to hang out around my family because my parents were cool. 

Probably because dad is so adventurous 

and the first thing ma does when you walk in is ask if you're hungry. 

& even if you say no, there is about to be a burrito or plate of nachos or something on the table. 

In my eyes, my dad knows anything/everything about anything/everything. 

If I need help with something, I call dad. 

Mom knows exactly what to say in any/every situation. Just calling her if I'm in a bad mood, meltdown, frustrated, hungry, anything mood brings me back to reality because she reminds me everything is ok. 

They've shown me unconditional love and always express how proud they are of me. 

I never had a curfew or got grounded; they've trusted me and I've trusted them.

I have the best parents in the universe & I cry almost every time I have to say bye to them. 

AND now I have the best in-law parents a girl could ever ask for.

 P has such a pure heart and is so thoughtful 

(example: the day we got back from trying on my wedding dress - I hated it and was upset. 

When we pulled up, she was in the driveway 

ready to give me and hug and tell me she had fresh cookies on the counter). 

D just radiates love and gives the best hugs! 

Plus he lets me go work cows with him! 

They raised 4 boys and each one of them turned out great! 

It's an understatement to say I hit the jackpot as far as parents go. 

List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.

1. The people who seem pretty cool right now...ya, they aren't. 

2. You're not as grown as you think you are. 

3. Don't be a snot to your parents, you'll realize how cool & loving they are and wish you could take it back.

4. Start thinking now about what major you want to pick in college...unbeknownst to you they are going to make you pick a major after freshman year...not sophomore. Thanks to your I.B. credits. 

5. You are not invincible. 

6. Don't be so afraid of failure/to speak up that you don't try out for parts in drama, be more creative in photography, or get what you want.

7. Tell people how much they mean to you before it's too late. Your aunt, the one who lived with you and taught you Spanish and who's kids are like siblings to you, and who brought you Mexican school books while you spent the summers in Mexico because you wanted to read while cousins were at school..she gets cancer and you don't get to say thank you. 

8. When you graduate, don't date that boy. If you're going to date someone, stick with the other one. 

But really, just wait until the year 2011...that's when you start dating the one. 

9. Don't wait so long to go back to Mexico. You miss the family more than you realize, you'll finally go back and wish you could stay and your chances to go are rarer and rarer the older you get. 

10. The only person you need to worry about making happy is your Heavenly Father. 

[the list]